Humor

A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three
sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest
boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the
youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17,
making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the
second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got
one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle,
having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove
home.

A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching
large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips, he
got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving
birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor
used his fishing scales.

The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz.

Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he
called for Geronimo and Falling Rocks, the two bravest
warriors in his tribe. The chief instructed each to go out
and seek buffalo skins. Whoever returned with the most
skins would be chief.

About a month later Geronimo came back with one hundred
pelts; sadly, Falling Rocks never returned.

Today as you drive through the West, you can see the
evidence of love and devotion the tribe had for this
brave. At nearly every mile marker there are signs saying,
"Watch for Falling Rocks."

St. Peter was watching the pearly gates one afternoon when
Jesus came around to see him. "Oh great! Glad you're here,"
Peter says, "Can you watch the gates for a minute?"

Jesus nods and Pete runs off in a hurry. Soon, and old man
walks up to the gate.

"Well," Jesus says, "Tell me your life story."

The old man looks up and says "I don't remember too much
when I died, but I remember my name was Joseph, and I was
a carpenter, and I had a son that was world famous!"

Jesus looks at him and says, "Papa?"

The old mans says, "Pinocchio?"

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.. On my desk I have a work station...

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

"I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at
once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately."
-- Mark Twain