Personal Growth and Transformation



"When the bottom falls out of your reality, you then pay attention to yourself, your fears, dreams and needs in a very different manner. You have nothing to lose in letting the smoke screens in your life fall away. As you can learn to look at your life honestly, without excuses and self-imposed, preconceived conditions, you will find the levels of fear and anxiousness diminish. The willingness to re-evaluate the current ‘you" and the possibilities for a new "you" is what turns limitation into opportunity and destructive, old patterning into viable, healthy new paths of growth."

Meredith Lady Young
Language of the Soul: Applying Universal Principles for Self-Empowerment


How does one heal and grow from an unthinkable traumatic experience? It helps each of us when others open their hearts and tell their stories. In this issue and several following, personal stories illustrate how we can move beyond staying a victim and how to use painful events to grow spiritually. Know that the events that wounded us, whether or not they are as severe as those in these stories, can deepen our relationship with our Self and be used for the upliftment of our consciousness. To raise our consciousness out of the consensus reality of victim/victimizer consciousness, takes tremendous courage and vigilance.

Allow these courageous people to impact you and show you the way out of trauma. Their sharing is very personal and each of them hopes to show you that no matter how challenging a life situation, there are ways to grow and heal from the experience.

Some of the best teachers and healers are the wounded healers who have healed themselves. In the following months you will read others. If you are drawn to write your story, send it to me. If you missed previous stories you can read them now:

Story number 1, Overcoming Sexual Assault

Story number 2, Moving Beyond Childhood Abuse

Story number 3, In Memory of Betty Sitzer

Story number 4, A Turning–Point in My Journey from Being Born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy
to Leading a Productive and Fulfilling Adult Life

Story number 5, Letting Go: My Life After My Teenage Son’s Suicide

Story number 6, Moving Beyond Blaming Myself for My Son's Mental Illness

Story number 7, The Silence Is NOT Golden: An Exercise In Dysfunction

Story number 8, Discarding Toxic Tapes from Childhood

Story number 9, Murder Visits My Family

Story number 10, September 3, 1999, the day that changed my life


Estrangement : A Whole New Dimension to My Life

By Judi Segalini

After thirty-four years of marriage, two grown children and two grandchildren, living with an estranged daughter was the last thing on my mind. The past year has been a horrible and wonderful experience at the same time for me.

The decision to suddenly move out of state by my daughter and her family was a shock to me and my husband. We were extremely close to our grandchildren but had been fighting a touchy¯ relationship with our daughter and her husband for a couple of years. We thought it was "okay"¯ and were caught by surprise by the move.

Prior to them moving, we had wanted to have a private conversation with our daughter to discuss and straighten out what we thought was a misunderstanding. She and her husband said it was unacceptable to ask for a private conversation and informed us we had just severed the relationship.

That was one year ago and I have struggled daily with a roller coaster of emotions. Having always been very close to our daughter it was mind boggling that such a drastic thing could have happened.

After a period of crying myself to sleep, weekly therapy and fighting depression, I decided to start researching how this could have happened to ME. I went though all of the guilt of what did I do wrong, trying to address all of the accusations that were flung at me. Was I that bad a parent, where did I fail her in childhood?

As a Human Resources professional, behavior patterns have always been of interest to me. I delved into every type of behavior pattern I could find looking for some answer to relieve my pain. I found some answers but it didn’t make the pain go away.

One day, while trying every kind of search I could think of, I found a wonderful book on healing from family rifts. After reading it I felt "lifted"- I knew I was on the right track. I joined the chat group associated with it and found several people in the same situation with very similar stories - I was not alone in this pain after all.

As time went on those of us with the same type of story formed a separate chat group. I have now bonded with a wonderful group of women, full of strength, searching, enduring and moving on with life in spite of the deep pain and despair we feel from the loss of the child in our lives.

The pain is still there daily, encompassing my every move and thought. This, I know in my heart, will not disappear until my daughter returns, which may be never. Until then, I will continue my search for peace through my friends, second chance family and wonderful websites such as Suzanne's. All of these have brought a whole other dimension to my life - through Estrangement.

If you need a shoulder or have a similar situation, please contact me if you like at: or  






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