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By Suzanne E. Harrill
Many are
challenged with the "Stay at Home, Social Distancing," that blindsided us during
the sudden social shift resulting from the covid 19 virus. It forced people to
spend time with family members day in and day out. The stress of the new normal
allows unhealthy patterns to surface in relationships, whereas in the past
people could get a break from issues and avoid problems by visiting friends,
going to work, the gym, shopping, or out to eat. I encourage you to meet these challenges and face your problems. Take
advantage of this point in time where you have the time to see issues, patterns,
habits, beliefs, etc. blocking your relationships.
It is never too
late to create a good relationship.
It begins with reeducating yourself about many things. As you improve your part
of the equation it changes the dance between the two of you. Remind yourself that relationships are co-created, each of you have your
awareness level, degree of self-esteem, beliefs, behaviors, and baggage from the
past. If you have two willing people, it will be easier sailing to gain more
satisfaction. The more mature each is, differences can be understood, overcome,
or accepted, as some things will never change. If you have a difficult situation
with little cooperation from the other, you can still make shifts in yourself
and understand the current reality and what you must do to help yourself. Some
people sit around hoping things will change with another who has no intention to
improve the relationship. Know that some relationships will never change and
need to be left behind. For example, partners with untreated mental illness,
anger, or addiction problems. Let us look at some ideas to build awareness.
Do you believe
you can improve your primary relationship? What if you could? How would you go
about accomplishing this goal? The
secret to having rich meaningful relationships starts with knowing
yourself. Why, because your relationships reflect where you are in
consciousness. Relationships are an inside job.
Trusting your
process and reclaiming your personal power to move forward and meet challenges
is how we grow, become self-aware, and able to manifest what we say we want.
Good relationships require a strong base of sound self-esteem. If you don't love
yourself, this is where you need to begin. No one can give you this. True
happiness and fulfillment come from within, not from anyone else. Consider
becoming the person you always wanted to marry.
Whether you live
alone or with a partner, whether married, divorced, single, or separated, you
are the person you live with all the time. In truth, you are married to
yourself. Why not learn more about yourself, become your own best friend, and
become the person you always wanted to marry? Understand yourself and grow
spiritually if you want to change and improve a relationship, leave a
relationship, create a new relationship, or be happy without one. As you learn to be your authentic, true self, you will communicate
honestly with yourself which in turn helps you communicate well with others.
In earlier, unaware times, I did not know myself well. Being unhappy was
normal. My focus was on changing my outer world, especially my husband. When
happiness depends on another, be prepared for emotional highs and lows. The good
news is that unhappiness can be the catalyst for change and seeking new
information, as it was in my case. I searched and explored outside the
boundaries of my life experiences, finding teachers, seminars, classes, and
authors that taught me the art of self-inquiry, contemplation, introspection,
meditation, updating my belief system, healing my past, exploring my potential,
and finding my true Self.
Education is a powerful way to improve your life and build a solid
relationship with yourself. This in turn makes it possible to have high-quality
relationships with others. Rather than looking outside yourself and wanting
others to complete you, discover ways to meet your own needs and expectations to
make yourself happy. As you set the intention to understand yourself and heal
yourself, then day by day you will grow in awareness and reawaken to your true
nature.
Living as an
empowered, self-aware individual, you live with authenticity, intention,
integrity, and connection with your spirituality. When in your place of power
(knowing and accepting yourself), you weather life's challenges in a more
peaceful, loving, problem-solving, and balanced way. Awareness allows you to
view people and situations more objectively and with choice.
With inner power,
based on self-awareness and self-esteem, you more clearly understand how you
arrived at today, the choices you have made, and the consequences you are now
experiencing, both good and bad. Expanding awareness increases wise
choice-making to create what you want for a more rewarding future. When you are
empowered, you can also positively influence those around you.
May you be
inspired to use the current times to improve your relationships. As you look
within at a deeper level you will see that your relationships reflect your
relationship with yourself. Use these mirrors of others to heal and empower
yourself and to help you create your life the way you desire.
Start by defining
your concept of a good relationship, as well as look at your current patterns of
thinking and behaving. As you look at the visions, wishes, hopes, and dreams
that you have, know that this is exactly what it is, the goals and potential of
the relationship from your point of view. Open communication and ask your
partner what their concepts are, noticing where you match up and where you do
not. This is just the beginning. It will tell you how close the two of you are
in creating the direction of your relationship. Build your communication skills
to talk about many more topics such as, each of your values, what is working and
not working in the current relationship, how to make changes, and how to have
fun together.
In summary it is
never too late to have a good relationship with your loved ones. Begin with
yourself. Consider downloading two of my relationship e-books, free on my
website, InnerworksPublishing.com. They are, Enlightening Cinderella and
The Harrill Solution; Secrets of Successful Relationships Revealed.
Following are some previous articles that may be helpful in building better
relationships (more in the archives on my website).
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