Personal Growth

Social Isolating -- An Opportunity to Build Healthier Relationships

By Suzanne E. Harrill

Many are challenged with the "Stay at Home, Social Distancing," that blindsided us during the sudden social shift resulting from the covid 19 virus. It forced people to spend time with family members day in and day out. The stress of the new normal allows unhealthy patterns to surface in relationships, whereas in the past people could get a break from issues and avoid problems by visiting friends, going to work, the gym, shopping, or out to eat. I encourage you to meet these challenges and face your problems. Take advantage of this point in time where you have the time to see issues, patterns, habits, beliefs, etc. blocking your relationships.

It is never too late to create a good relationship. It begins with reeducating yourself about many things. As you improve your part of the equation it changes the dance between the two of you. Remind yourself that relationships are co-created, each of you have your awareness level, degree of self-esteem, beliefs, behaviors, and baggage from the past. If you have two willing people, it will be easier sailing to gain more satisfaction. The more mature each is, differences can be understood, overcome, or accepted, as some things will never change. If you have a difficult situation with little cooperation from the other, you can still make shifts in yourself and understand the current reality and what you must do to help yourself. Some people sit around hoping things will change with another who has no intention to improve the relationship. Know that some relationships will never change and need to be left behind. For example, partners with untreated mental illness, anger, or addiction problems. Let us look at some ideas to build awareness.

Do you believe you can improve your primary relationship? What if you could? How would you go about accomplishing this goal? The secret to having rich meaningful relationships starts with knowing yourself. Why, because your relationships reflect where you are in consciousness. Relationships are an inside job.

Trusting your process and reclaiming your personal power to move forward and meet challenges is how we grow, become self-aware, and able to manifest what we say we want. Good relationships require a strong base of sound self-esteem. If you don't love yourself, this is where you need to begin. No one can give you this. True happiness and fulfillment come from within, not from anyone else. Consider becoming the person you always wanted to marry.

Whether you live alone or with a partner, whether married, divorced, single, or separated, you are the person you live with all the time. In truth, you are married to yourself. Why not learn more about yourself, become your own best friend, and become the person you always wanted to marry? Understand yourself and grow spiritually if you want to change and improve a relationship, leave a relationship, create a new relationship, or be happy without one. As you learn to be your authentic, true self, you will communicate honestly with yourself which in turn helps you communicate well with others.

In earlier, unaware times, I did not know myself well. Being unhappy was normal. My focus was on changing my outer world, especially my husband. When happiness depends on another, be prepared for emotional highs and lows. The good news is that unhappiness can be the catalyst for change and seeking new information, as it was in my case. I searched and explored outside the boundaries of my life experiences, finding teachers, seminars, classes, and authors that taught me the art of self-inquiry, contemplation, introspection, meditation, updating my belief system, healing my past, exploring my potential, and finding my true Self.

Education is a powerful way to improve your life and build a solid relationship with yourself. This in turn makes it possible to have high-quality relationships with others. Rather than looking outside yourself and wanting others to complete you, discover ways to meet your own needs and expectations to make yourself happy. As you set the intention to understand yourself and heal yourself, then day by day you will grow in awareness and reawaken to your true nature.

Living as an empowered, self-aware individual, you live with authenticity, intention, integrity, and connection with your spirituality. When in your place of power (knowing and accepting yourself), you weather life's challenges in a more peaceful, loving, problem-solving, and balanced way. Awareness allows you to view people and situations more objectively and with choice.

With inner power, based on self-awareness and self-esteem, you more clearly understand how you arrived at today, the choices you have made, and the consequences you are now experiencing, both good and bad. Expanding awareness increases wise choice-making to create what you want for a more rewarding future. When you are empowered, you can also positively influence those around you.

May you be inspired to use the current times to improve your relationships. As you look within at a deeper level you will see that your relationships reflect your relationship with yourself. Use these mirrors of others to heal and empower yourself and to help you create your life the way you desire.

Start by defining your concept of a good relationship, as well as look at your current patterns of thinking and behaving. As you look at the visions, wishes, hopes, and dreams that you have, know that this is exactly what it is, the goals and potential of the relationship from your point of view. Open communication and ask your partner what their concepts are, noticing where you match up and where you do not. This is just the beginning. It will tell you how close the two of you are in creating the direction of your relationship. Build your communication skills to talk about many more topics such as, each of your values, what is working and not working in the current relationship, how to make changes, and how to have fun together.

In summary it is never too late to have a good relationship with your loved ones. Begin with yourself. Consider downloading two of my relationship e-books, free on my website, InnerworksPublishing.com. They are, Enlightening Cinderella and The Harrill Solution; Secrets of Successful Relationships Revealed. Following are some previous articles that may be helpful in building better relationships (more in the archives on my website).

 

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