submitted by Marle Creer
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of
Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained
how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in
pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded
the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over
the altar. He had them do this four times "Now, said the
teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord
would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand,
"I know! I know!" she said, "To make the
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked
back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason
interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was
driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned i
nto a telephon e pole!"
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students
would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you
saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,
what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the
hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah
lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No,"
replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have
been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
MOSES & THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by h is mother w h at he had
learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us
how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to
lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he
had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked
across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your
teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom.
But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize
one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave
the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was
excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the
Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psa lm
23 in fron t o f the congregation, Rickey was so nervous that
when it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said
proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family
Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is
there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of
humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand
printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and
Caution : Do not step in exhaust.
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what
the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be
scared, you'll get your quilt." Ne e dle ss to say, the Mom
was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea
and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson
was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is
There once was a rich man who was near death.
He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money
and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he
began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth
An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you
can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel
to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man
continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to
allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man
gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars
and places it beside his bed.
Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven
to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold
on, you can't bring that in here!" But, the man explains to
St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his
story with the Lord.
Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're
right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to
check its contents before letting it through."
St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that
the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You