Humor

A flight attendant was on the red-eye to Manila when a water
leak developed in the galley, which eventually soaked the
carpet throughout the cabin of the 747.

A very sleepy passenger who had become aware of the dampness
asked the attendant, "Has it been raining?"

Keeping a straight face, the attendant replied, "Yes, but we
put the top up."

Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi
just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."

"Who?"

"Dave Aronson. There's a guy who did everything right.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have
happened like that to Dave."

"There are always a few clouds over everybody," says
Morris.

"Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone
on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway
star."

"He was something, huh?"

"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's
birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with.
He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and
I black out the whole neighborhood."

"No wonder you remember him."

"Well, I never actually met Dave."

"Then how do you know so much about him?" asks Morris.

"Because I married his widow."

A few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who
was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee. The
student struck a deal saying 'I will pay your fee the day
I win my first case in the court.'

Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the
course was finished and the teacher started pestering the student
to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal.

Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in
the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this
case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me. And if
I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would
have won his first case. So either way I will have to get
the money."

The equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the
case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything
to the teacher. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay
him because I haven't won my first case yet. So either way,
I am not going to pay the teacher anything!"

This is one of law's greatest paradox.

The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched
carrier. The entire 3,000 plus crew stood at attention.
"I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's
captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship."

"I think I do," was the captain's unexpected reply.

"A'ha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of that man?"
he asked, pointing to a sailor standing two rows away.

"That's William Jones," replied the captain.

The Secretary walked over and addressed the seaman himself.

"And what's your name, sailor?" he asked.

"William Jones, sir," replied Seaman Abernathy.

"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there
are so few of us left." --Oscar Levant