Humor

PRINCIPLES OF JEWISH BUDDHISM

Submitted by Susan Pietrowski

1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the
wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with
such round shoulders.

2. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind
that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do
the
following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

5. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called,
you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

6. If there is no Self, whose arthritis is this?

7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and
attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others.
The
Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take
sides. The Tao is not Jewish.

9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the
second, satisfaction. With the third sip, eat a Danish.

10. Be patient and achieve all things. Haggle and get them cheaper.

11. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are 10,000
flowers. Each flower blossoms 10,000 times. Each blossom has 10,000
petals. You might want to see a specialist.

12. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

13. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then
what do you have? Bupkes!

 

Home Schooling

The kids start the day with Mom supervising breakfast.

Then off to school they go.
Everyone has an assigned seat in the classroom.

After resting up, they're ready for some fun.

Where's Waldo is their favorite game.

Before you know it, everyone is tired out.

When the kids get home from their busy school day, it's time for a bath.

Then they dry off before bedtime.

 

Put a smile on your face,
And a song in your heart!

(Back)

 

 

 

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