By Ute Lawrence
One of the courses I teach is called the “Attraction
Program.” It is designed on the premise that we are all
walking magnets and, therefore, attract what we project. Did
you ever notice that when one thing goes wrong, it is often
the start of a chain of unfortunate events? Conversely,
everything in our lives often seems to be going right.
This phenomenon is caused by the energy we project
outward. When something bad happens, we project negative
energy and, therefore, attract more negativity. When something
good happens, it keeps coming.
I have to say that when I started to design a few of
the 28 principles of the Attraction Program into my life, I
noticed a distinct difference in how my life changed and
became more effortless. One principle, Tolerate Nothing, has
had an enormously positive impact on me.
I had always operated under the notion that the more I
was able to put up with meant the stronger I would become. How
wrong I was! There’s nothing noble about putting up with
things that annoy us. In fact, they drain our energy and
depress us. Every time you put up with something, you feel
less attractive to yourself.
As a baby, you did not tolerate anything; you were not
going to put up with hunger, thirst, or dirty diapers. You
made it known, quite clearly, that some action was required to
satisfy your needs. As you got older, however, you were told
that looking after your own needs was selfish and that
ignoring your own needs was “life.”
Sources of our tolerations are unlimited and it is my
intent to make you aware of the fact that they are not good
for you. I then intend to encourage you to eliminate them one
by one, keeping in mind that you might simply have to become
accustomed to some of them. There are some you might be
unwilling to address, or you might feel the cost of
eliminating them is too high – like telling your
mother-in-law that she cannot just appear on your doorstep
whenever she feels like it.
If you are like most people, you are probably
tolerating hundreds of things right now. One might be the
“friend” who continually talks about his or her problems,
or the people who come over for dinner and spend the entire
evening talking about themselves. When they leave, they have
absolutely no clue of what you’ve been up to. You might have
started to say something and were interrupted.
Other examples include the people who do not treat you
the way you want to be treated at the office or at home; the
person who thinks his or her time is much more valuable than
yours and is continually late. (I am getting a little hot
under the collar as I write this.) Maybe it is the spot on the
rug or the chipped paint that you walk by several times a day.
It can also be the stuff you tolerate from
yourself, such as not honoring the commitments you have made
to yourself or to others.
When you start with the elimination process, you will
be amazed by the benefits you will derive. The first step is
to buy a stack of three- by five-inch cards. Write down the
things you are tolerating in your life right now, one
toleration per card. Start with at least 50 items. The list
should include the following areas: home, kids, spouse,
“best” friend, job, your habits and behaviour, others
habits and behaviours, your car, your commute, television,
computer, e-mails, interruptions, and any of the other areas
that apply to you personally.
Put the cards with the big tolerations into one pile
and the smaller ones into another. Now start to eliminate
them, one item at a time. Once you have eliminated the
annoyance – such as working up the courage to tell your
cleaning person that the tiles in the bathroom have not been
wiped in months – rip up the card.
You will find that the ripping action will not only
give you a sense of accomplishment, but will also give you a
great sense of relief.
In some cases, you will have to tell someone in your
usual smooth, effective and non-disruptive way, of course,
that you are no longer willing to put up with certain
behaviours, because they either hurt your feelings or annoy
you. The card can be ripped up only when you see the positive
change you expect.
You might want to start with a couple of the smaller
items on your list to help you build momentum and then charge
full steam ahead. In a best-case scenario, you will be able to
accomplish this without causing a divorce or being fired from
your job (unless that is what you have in mind.)
Start today. Keep some cards near you at all times so
you can add the things that annoy you as they occur to you. As
you go through the process, you will find that you are
developing higher standards for yourself and that you have
more confidence. It might cause some upsets initially,
including the fact that the things you used to fret about are
no longer there – that can create a void for some people.
After three to four months, you will likely find that
you have attracted some new people who are positive and
stimulating and the old complainers have distanced themselves,
because they realize you are no longer “putting up with
things.” Most of all, you will be calmer and more
self-assured.
You will also be proud of the fact that you
have eliminated the tolerations that are within your control
and that you have communicated your needs to those around you.
If you would like to receive the list of 1001
tolerations free of charge, please e-mail your request to info@powerofonediscovery.com
Ute Lawrence is the CEO/President of Performance
Enhancement Centre and founder of the Power of One Discovery
series. Ute is an inspirational keynote speaker and workshop
leader. To sign up for our free newsletter, please
visit us.
(Back)
