Suzanne Says

Question: Hi Suzanne, I have read your book, Enlightening Cinderella, for the third time now and have learned new lessons again. I study psychology, love Jungian Psychology, and am currently seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist to ensure I can work through issues and avoid passing them on to clients!

My question is about affirmations. My therapist said they are pointless, as they don't change core beliefs. You obviously think they are worthwhile, and I just wanted to know your thought on this before I decide whether or not to begin using them. (I need to believe they will work to motivate myself to use them).

Thanks, Suzie Hall

Answer: I can only speak from my own experience and what I have observed in myself, friends, family, and clients.

Affirmations are a powerful way to make positive changes in our lives by overriding negative guiding (core) beliefs that were planted in the subconscious mind, many times as a child. To stop or lessen their affect on us, we use our conscious mind to create new beliefs that support our new level of truth. Such things as therapy, reading self-help books, and taking workshops in such things as building self-esteem or improving communication help us see that not everyone thinks the same way we do. Slowly we begin to consider others’ points of view and beliefs, realizing that these teachers get different results in life.

It takes as long as it takes to override negative belief patterns. Some people seem to move quickly in changing themselves while others move more cautiously. The more you trust a new idea and see that a guiding belief is faulty, the easier it is to allow new self-talk or affirmations to help you change.

For me, I may always react if someone is critical of me even if I do not respect them or their opinion. I do not allow my old, faulty, guiding belief to dominate for long. I begin talking to myself differently, saying such things as, “You have not done anything wrong, if that person is angry let them be angry as it is not your fault.” If I have trouble feeling peaceful inside I know I need further work, so create a few affirmations to repeat often to myself, such as:

We can only think one thought at a time, so the next time you react to a situation or a person or start in with negative self-talk, take some time to write down what your belief is that is keeping you feeling defensive, feeling powerless, or whatever. Then create a true statement or affirmation. Keep saying it over and over to make it the dominate thought. Over time you will start living with a new set of guiding beliefs and feel differently and get different results in life.

There are many things which you can do to support saying affirmations, such as visualizing yourself as if the statement is true, feeling the affirmation very strongly, and saying the information with conviction. In other words, put power behind the words.

Why not do an experiment on yourself for the coming year. See if using affirmations is the right technique for you to change your negative beliefs. Start with some affirmations you see on my site, in other books, or that you make up yourself. Practice over time makes it easier to create affirmations for yourself. You might even create a cassette tape of affirmations in your own voice. Read several affirmations you know will improve your life and listen to the tape every day.

I know that affirmations have worked in my life to make positive changes in my thinking patterns, which has affected positively how I feel and how I behave. I do many other things as well, including spending time with myself to understand my inner conflicts, desires, etc. I also journal write, meditate, read, and take classes to help me know myself.