Billing Service

A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The
reason? A billing service had launched an 800 number that
was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she
was told to get a new number.

"I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't
you change yours?"

The company refused, so she said, "Fine. From now on, I'm
going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid
in full."

The company got a new number the next day.

Lost Bible

A church-going cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was
mending fences out on the range.

The next morning a cow walked up carrying the Bible in it's
mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes!

He took the book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes
heaven-ward and exclaimed, "Praise God! It's a miracle!"

"Not really...." said the cow. "Your name was written inside
the cover."

Late for Class

At the prestigious university I attend, there is a clear
hierarchy that outlines how long one was to wait for a
class to begin if the professor were absent. A full
professor rated fifteen minutes. An associate only ten.
A mere instructor was expected to be on time, if not
early. This system worked only one way, however; and
students were afforded no such grace.

It was to be expected, therefore, that one professor,
the foremost authority in his field by his own admission,
would register distinct annoyance when the student, just
out of military service, was late for class for the third
morning running.

"Tell me," the professor began, "exactly what did they
say in the Army when you sauntered in late like this?"

"Well," mused the unperturbed young man... "first they
saluted, then they asked, 'How are you this morning, sir?'"

The Doctor and the Lawyer

A physician presented his bill to the attorney
representing a deceased person's estate. Each of them knew
the other, having tangled quite a few times in court,
where the doctor was often called as an "expert witness."

The Doctor asked the lawyer if he wanted the bill sworn
"No," replied the lawyer, "the death of Mr. Frobisher is
sufficient evidence that you attended him professionally."

"Be that as it may," replied the doctor, "the fact that
you handled his affairs is probably why he couldn't afford
to pay this bill in the first place."





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