Signs of the Times

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a Church's Bill board:
" 7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tyre Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."


At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

(Oh, by the way)

Sign on the back of yet another
Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Tanker is full of Political Promises"


Wrong Number

I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: "I
am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough
to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave
a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you
are one of the changes."


Easy Eggs

One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in
South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that
the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed. After I
gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs.

Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh,
whatever is easiest for you."

With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my
plate, and handed it back to me.





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