|
By Suzanne E. Harrill
Joy brings more light into our lives. No matter the circumstances
you have drawn into your life, pay attention when you catch yourself smiling and
enjoying the small stuff. As we learn to focus on the simple pleasures already
happening, the easier it is to let go of allowing the unpleasant things to spoil
our day. It lightens us every time we enjoy a flower or sunset, hug a loved one,
say hi to a smiling neighbor, pet our dog or cat, or make eye contact with a
child at the grocery store. This joy in the moment transfers to building a
positive mindset, which affects how we live our day. Let us remember that
improving our attitude not only helps us enjoy our life, it also positively
impacts our relationships.
We all know the only thing we have control over in life is our
inner world. Our thoughts and attitudes color all that happens to us. It even
influences those around us. Learning to enjoy our life more and boosting our
feelings of inner worth and value are both an inside job, nobody can give this
to us. The more we appreciate the small things that make us happy and nourish
us, the more it helps upgrade our thoughts, self-talk, and the words moving out
of our mouths spoken to others.
As we spend more time noticing the small things that make us smile,
it affects our overall well-being, adding more joy, love, and peace to our
lives. This in turn boosts our self-esteem and enjoyment of our day. As we
remind ourselves often that we are responsible for what we experience in our own
world, we pay attention to what we like, who we like to spend time with, and
what activities bring us pleasure. This shift to an internal locus of control
supports conscious living, which improves the quality of our own lives, even
when those around us have not "gotten" it yet. The more we stay in our place of
inner peace the less others affect us negatively. Focus on your joy and watch
our loved ones change while around us.
Studies show that it is not the outer events that shape our stress
level or enjoyment of life, it is our beliefs, opinions, perceptions, and
interpretations of these events that affect us. Recently, I sat next to a young
woman who was totally stressed out by her airplane travel experiences. Talking
on her cell phone to her husband about her misfortunes before take-off got her
more agitated by the minute. Next, she called a friend for sympathy and
explained her story all over again and in great detail. As we waited to take off
and taxied down the runway, the young woman mentioned some of her woes to me.
Clearly, I saw my younger self in this woman. I know I have done
similar things in times past, getting caught up in the drama and not being able
to let it go and be in the present moment. With my current awareness, it was
easy for me to see how this woman was setting herself up for more stress later
in the day because she was perpetuating her negative feelings and letting them
dominate how she felt.
I decided to interject that we were really lucky not to be in
Europe at the moment, as all the airports were closed because of an Iceland
volcano erupting. This did make her pause for a moment as she shifted outside of
her limited perspective. We imagined how tired and frustrated those people must
be. What about the children traveling? We continued talking about how hard that
must be on the parents. Next, we wondered if there was enough food at the
airport and how lucky we were now. This woman had young children who were not
traveling with her. It seemed she caught the implications that her day would
have been even more challenging if her children were along.
I admit, it was easier to be in an objective frame of mind
observing another when an irritating day had not come my way. I did make a
mental note to remember this woman, however, as an example of how not to handle
stress in my future. I want to pay attention to my attitude the next time an
unpleasant experience finds its way onto my path and stop my negative ruminating
so I can move beyond the negative-feeling experience.
I noticed that our
conversation appeared to have a positive impact on the young woman sitting next
to me; she smiled as we got up and left the plane. It reminded me that others
are impacted by our response to them. People see their reflection in us as if we
were a mirror.
Build your reserve of happy memories when you move outside your
comfort zone, whether it is traveling, going Christmas shopping, spending time
with teenagers, or watching your grandchildren for extended periods of time.
Notice the small stuff. Look back on today and list as many things as you can
that made you smile or feel happy inside. Better yet, when tomorrow gets here,
visualize yourself noticing more things that give you enjoyment: the smell of
your bath soap, the flavor of your coffee or tea, the colors you choose to wear,
or saying hello to a friend on email.
(Back)
|
