By Dr. James E. McReynolds
Painfully aware that I am just two years from age 70, I pray
and plan for the rest of my life and ministry, and will emphasize my times of
joy and happiness. I find that I must frame life in a different way. Rarely is
our end of life path clearly marked. To face these days, it is important not to
fear, but to see life as an adventure of continuous change.
Some of us do not grow up to do what we
thought we would be doing with our lives. Times of failure descend upon us all
at times. Life does not turn out as we planned. No person ever dreamed they
would end up with cancer, or that they would be divorced, or lose their job.
Many things happen to us. Doing the following exercise can
help you for your strategic spiritual journey when life takes us to one of these
challenging places.
First, be aware of your growing discomfort with what is
happening in your life.
Second, begin to realize the need to change, to accept
another lifestyle.
Third, check out available options, becoming informed about
the possibilities.
Fourth, ask yourself, "What do I want? What is drawing me?
What am I willing to do?"
Fifth, become aware of where you resist change. The
known appears safer than
the shock of the new. Be aware of what you are holding. At a
crisis time, the illusion of control gets shattered.
Sixth, practice change, one step at a time. Take small steps,
one day at a time.
What changes have you faced? Are they self-imposed? Are they
sudden, unexpected, or unplanned? What did it feel like to go through a
self-imposed change versus an unplanned change?
In Vienna, my wife and I enjoyed a marionette puppet show. We
think we are the puppet-master of life. We have one string running to our
finances. Another string runs to our marriage. Still another runs through our
calling or career. During a crisis we realize that the control was an
illusion.
We must disengage from the past, gently. What from the past
do you want to take with you into the future? What bridges do you need to burn?
To be happy with inner videos of joyful times in our minds we must loosen the
bonds of what we thought we were so we can go through the transition to a new
reality.
We must be less enchanted with the old, realizing that the
significant part of our old realities was in our perception. We are more
than the sum of our job description, our titles, and those roles we assumed.
Any ending is a dying. A person may be unsure of where she is
and where she is going. We must go gently into the change process, accepting the
natural flow of change with all its feelings and stages of grieving.
Our physical strength may be lessoning, but our wisdom
strength may not have fully blossomed. The old answers no longer work. We are
left with questions. As we age, the questions appear to be more significant and
answers more elusive.
In our times of wandering, we want answers, but often there
are none. Wilderness days come as the building of a fire. At first the fire is
smoky. Our eyes water. We must light the fire within us and see that this
reframing of life during the changes is not the absence of something, but the
transition between life's phases.
Dr. James E. McReynolds has spoken in virtually every nation
on earth. In 57 years of ministry, his Visionquests for Joy have enabled people
to realize what joy is and what happy people look like. In retirement he serves
as pastor of First Christian Church in Weeping Water, Nebraska. His book,
Passionate Joy, gives his model of joy from an academic and spiritual
viewpoint.
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